Posts

Relationship advice in Surrey, Surrey hypnotherapy

How To Take Control Of Your Relationships

Relationship advice in surrey, Surrey hypnotherapy

Having self-belief, confidence and healthy self-esteem will help you take control of your relationships. By focusing on the value you place on yourself – which is your self-belief – you will boost your self-confidence in your relationships with other people and build strong bonds with them.

The Importance Of Self-Esteem And Self-Belief

Your self-esteem is how to feel about yourself, your ‘positive regard’ and how much self-love you have. Your self-belief is influenced by how you think, feel and act. In other words, it comes from a sense of your beliefs about your identity and your stance in your world regardless of the expectations that you yourself or society puts on you.

Sometimes a woman’s self-esteem can be fragile. Women often compare themselves to other people and sometimes will change their behaviour to fit in accordingly. We live in a changeable world and many women feel they have to work really hard to fit into male-dominated environments. They feel they have to work hard to measure up.

Personal Relationships

A woman’s relationship with her partner can also be a vicious cycle, she may feel that she needs to conform her partner’s needs but this can lower her self-esteem and self-confidence. This also can weaken the bond she is trying to build with the partner. Instead of remaining true to her values and beliefs, she may focus on making her partner happy instead. And this distances her away from her own self-worth, self-belief and integrity, which lowers her self-confidence even more.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself about your confidence in your relationship:

  1. What can I do to be my true self in my relationship without upsetting the apple cart?
  2. How can I do this without compromise and affecting my self-confidence?
  3. How does this low self-confidence and self-belief in myself affecting my relationship?

If you know that your self-belief, lack of confidence and self-esteem is damaging your relationships with other people, there is support available. Hypnosis is a powerful tool to address negative thoughts and behaviours and find the self-belief and confidence you need to take control of your relationships.

Contact me for a free consultation if you would like to discuss this in more detail.

The key to an honest and balanced relationship is for both remaining true to their own self-belief and integrity to build a strong and secure bond.

  1. Choose not to lose your self-belief and integrity. Take each day as it comes and takes baby steps to build your confidence and self-esteem.
  2. Gratitude can help build confidence. If you feel low and depressed your confidence will weaken as you don’t feel valuable to your relationship or society. Your worthiness is knowing who you are and believing it and plays an important role in our relationships. When you are grateful for what you have, your self-confidence builds as you feel your value and self-worth. In relationships, our self-worth plays a defining role and can be a key factor in the success or failure of the relationship. We feel confident and happy when we are in a balanced relationship and feel depressed or worthless when your relationship is not good.
  3. Avoid negative self-talk. Sometimes the negative voice in our heads can override the positive messages. They can come from past experiences – from being unable to meet expectations of parents, or previous relationships. Negative social pressure, illness or some trauma can also result in low self-esteem. Challenging the negative voice and listing to affirmations or messages that can influence you to believe in yourself. Your thoughts, feeling and beliefs can be replaced by positive messages.
  4. Projecting confidence even when you feel unconfident in situations. Sometimes it good to put on a brave face and face the challenges in front of you, you can then be strong for the next situation. Have the patience, face the fear and be kind to yourself, and then you can face the challenge you are scared of. By allowing yourself to be uncomfortable and not letting negative thoughts overtake you, you can boost your confidence.

Key areas you can change to boost your self-confidence:

  1. By identifying and understanding what areas of your life you are unhappy with and commit to change that.
  2. Positive thoughts and affirmations to build your feelings of self-worth.
  3. Read at least 20-30 minutes of articles or books to improve our mind. avoid the tendency to compare yourself to others as this will only develop into negative thoughts.
  4. Trust your instincts believe that you are a confident person
  5. A supportive environment with family and friends listening to issues you struggle with will keep you motivated.

Self-confidence is an amazing quality to have that this can help create and build a wonderful, passionate, equal and loving relationship.

Working with people to help them build lost self-confidence or boost their low self-esteem is a passion of mine so please contact me if you would like some help.

Never let obstacles get in the way of loving relationships and enjoying your incredible life.

Hypnotherapy in Surrey, New years ideas, self-confidence, confidence coaching

How To Stick With Your New Year Resolutions In 2017

Hypnotherapy in Surrey, New years ideas, self-confidence, confidence coaching

Did you make any New Year Resolutions this year? Lose weight, stop smoking, get a promotion or start your own business? Whatever your NY resolution is, you may now be feeling the pressure to start or stick with it…

You have tidied the house and all the Xmas decorations have been put away, but its end of January and you have not started using the gym membership or working through the things on your list. With February and March looming, you may feel like you’re struggling to keep up with the resolutions list, and it feels scary how far behind you are.

So did you make the right NY Resolution? If you made a life-changing resolution, a big plan to change direction or do something huge, it may be that the reason you’re now starting to panic is that you’ve taken too much on.

Setting small achievable goals, instead of a big goal that will overwhelm and frustrate you, can help you succeed in your personal life and business life. You also need to ensure that you have addressed those issues that could result in failure. For example, if you’ve tried to lose weight before, what went wrong and how can you improve your chances of success this time?

Often it comes down to confidence and self-belief. If these are already low it can be an uphill struggle to stick with and achieve your resolutions. Low self-confidence can sabotage your chances of success.

If this is an issue for you, consider addressing this first – hypnotherapy for confidence can help – and then with a boost to your self-belief you’ll be in much better shape to achieve those NY resolutions.

Tips For Sticking To Your New Year Resolutions

By taking small actionable steps and prioritising what is important to you, you will be more likely to stick with and succeed in your resolutions.

Here are some key points to remember to help you stick with your New Year resolutions:

  1. Setting out SMART goals Specific, Measurable Achievable Realistic and Timely goals, in the beginning, will set you up to understand what you are trying to achieve this year.
  2. If your goal is to getting on top of your finances, concentrate your motivation and energy on the most important aspect of the debt you have accumulated. In this manner, you will pay off a little of the money you owe at a time and have a strong sense of progress. This will motivate you to continue to keep playing and looking after your finances in a positive manner.
  3. Use whatever resources you have to help, for example – put your gym clothes ready when you wake up so you can immediately get some exercise before you start to make excuses about your exercise regime. Stay away from risky situations if you want to get fit and healthy don’t go to McDonald’s or go near fast foods or junk food. Put reminders in places where you are triggered to follow your healthy choices or behaviours like notes on the fridge, or on the bathroom mirror.
  4. Get organised! Don’t allow other tasks to stop you from achieving your goals – where possible automate them so they don’t distract you. Set out reminders to tasks that you have to do every few weeks time and look to see how you can prioritise some of them. Set out the actions you are going to take to achieve your next goal to keep going.
  5. Be flexible. If you have an all or nothing approach and fail at one of your steps it’s likely you will become disillusioned and not succeed in your overall goal. Instead, give yourself a break if you don’t meet every target, be flexible and realign your steps so you can move forward.
  6. Set yourself a reasonable time limit and if you are unable to keep up with it revisit your goal list and make changes so you can achieve the goals in small chunks.
  7. Don’t give up and keep trying. Create a balanced approach with baby steps that you can act on. Keep yourself motivated by being mindful of what you want and knowing the results you expect that will help you keep going.
  8. Get the support you need, having someone to talk to you will get a different point of view of how you are going to succeed with your goals. This will also help make you accountable and you might get different ideas in order to get results or solutions you desire. Asking and accepting help will strengthen your resolve and manage your anxiety and stress. Also seeking help from a coach or a mentor can help change unhealthy habits and behaviours and address issues you have suffered from in the past, procrastination or emotional issues.

Old habits and behaviours can be hard to change but they are often the key to successfully achieving your goals and resolutions. Once you understand why you respond to certain challenges or pressures in a particular way, it becomes easier to change your habits and behaviours.

Sometimes it can be as simple as changing the way you approach your resolution. Instead of saying, ‘I want to lose weight’ a resolution of ‘I’m going to eat more healthily’ can increase your chances of successfully losing the weight and keeping it off long-term.

Cognitive behaviour therapy with hypnosis is a highly effective way of identifying habits and behaviours that are sabotaging your chances of success, and then replace them with better responses that increase your motivation and drive.

If you’re struggling with your New Year Resolutions and would like to talk through ways of getting back on the programme, I offer a free 30-minute phone consultation for people in West Surrey / Hampshire. Book your appointment here.

self-confidence, new years resolution, new years resolution ideas

Make Improving Your Self-Confidence Your Top New Year’s Resolution!

self-confidence, new years resolution, new years resolution ideas

Every year we make New Years Resolutions and every year by the end January we fail to keep up with them. For your New Years Resolutions to work you need to develop healthy habits, positive thoughts and improve your self-confidence.

Self-confidence is the key to making other NY Resolutions stick.

With great self-confidence, we will believe that we can achieve our goals whether that’s to stop smoking, lose weight, find a new job or run a marathon. Therefore before you set yourself a challenge that could easily result in a relapse, let’s look at improving your self-confidence first.

Relapsing is when your brain defaults to what you do normally – habits and behaviours – and says “oh well, never mind”. Unfortunately, setbacks like this can result in negative feelings and depression. So instead of setting ourselves up for a fall, if we address those deep rooted behaviours and habits first we can build our self-confidence and increase our chances of success.

Self-Confidence Will Help You Achieve Your NY Resolutions

Creating new behaviours and habits to substitute the old ways of thinking will help you take control of your New Years Resolutions.


If you want to explore a therapy to help you boost your self-confidence, hypnotherapy for confidence is a highly effective way to change negative habits and behaviours and thereby increase your chances of achieving all kinds of goals and resolutions.


Here are some self-reflective tips that can give your self-confidence a boost and help you understand how you can succeed with your new year’s goals. Write down your answers on a piece of paper:

  1. What were your best achievements, personal successes or breakthroughs in the last year? Did you step up or into a new opportunity, try something you never tried before that make you fearful or uncomfortable?
  2. What were the challenges you had to overcome? How did you conquer the fear of failure, get up when you got knocked down, overcome the setbacks and find the strength to speak and fight even though you were scared?
  3. Where did you find your supportive network, people that influenced your methods, your motivation and how did you move forward? Where and who do you find your inspiration from and did you use this motivation to clear your space to focus on your goals?

Your brain has a way to re-inventing itself and those positive habits and behaviours you wrote down above can become the default response when you meet other challenges. Instead of relapsing into old habits and behaviours you can have the power and control!

Here are 7 steps for changing the way you think:

  1. Focus your thoughts on being positive – an important aspect of starting the new year with and finding success with your goals
  2. Make a plan and take small steps to work through each task or activity. If you try to tackle your goal as one big project you are more likely to feel stressed and relapse into old habits.
  3. Don’t associate yourself with negative people on social media or elsewhere. Also, list the negative beliefs you have and refute them and set some realistic beliefs about yourself. Being too judgmental about yourself will impede your progress.
  4. Set your goals in a SMART manner – Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Time-based. Break these down into small steps or you will find that you lose your motivation. The way to achieve success is to take one baby step at a time.
  5. Combine your SMART goals with STRETCH goals (a big dream goal) that mean you are dreaming big and going after your ULTIMATE goals. Both these together are called the WISE goals which are grounded in what steps you are going to take next to achieve success.
  6. Avoid thinking like a perfectionist. We can always do better but a healthier way of thinking is doing our best or ‘just good enough’. Focus on the positive. If we fall short of doing what we want and fail at our aspirations, it’s easy to fall into the negative spiral of thinking. So a healthier method would be to take baby steps and have a realistic / ‘good enough’ approach.
  7. Don’t wait for things to happen or come to you. Learn something new each day and challenge yourself.

By focusing on actionable SMART goals and measuring them with the success you have achieved you will create a positive focus and a feedback loop. This will help motivate you to take the actionable steps week by week and create habits and behaviours long-term.

You will feel motivated, positive as you complete each step, and this will boost your confidence and self-esteem.

Understanding yourself will minimise your weaknesses and strengthen your resolve to stay focused and driven to daily enjoy your accomplishments. Finding a mentor or a therapist to help you to stay motivated, goal focused and on track can also improve your confidence and wellbeing.

An important thing to remember is to be patient with yourself, self-confidence and esteem is a step by step process and practice.

To find out more about hypnotherapy for confidence visit this page.

self esteem, career, confidence coaching, low self-esteem

10 Steps to Increase Your Self Esteem and Propel Your Career

self esteem, career, confidence coaching, low self-esteem

How you think and feel about yourself is one of the most important factors in becoming successful in your career and social life.

‘Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending’ Maria Robinson

If you are happy with what you do and who you are then you will find success, but in today’s world love for oneself is the missing link what people miss out on.

Why is the ability to build, maintain and keep your self-esteem so important?

  • Self-sabotaging thoughts – sometimes you can be your own worst enemy. By looking after your needs and keeping the bar raised high you can be motivated enough the things you like and love. And when you achieve your goals you will not self-sabotage.
  • Developing your inner stability – By liking yourself you will not look for attention and validation from other people. Then what other people say and think does affect your stability and you don’t need the recognition to feel good. When they say something nice it’s a bonus!
  • Your relationships and friendships will be healthier – if you display ‘needy’ characteristics or lack the confidence to be yourself, your relationships will not be built on a sound footing. Therefore if you can nurture your self-esteem you will also build better relationships with the people around you.
  • You will feel happier – in my experience when I like and value myself, I am a happier person and I am able to achieve success with my goals.

Here are 10 ways you can start to build your self-esteem today:

  1. Stop being your own internal critic – learn to handle and replace that judgmental voice inside you or you will drag your self-confidence down. What does the negative chatter say – you are not good at doing things and your job or you don’t look so good? When you hear the critical voice in your head replace it by saying STOP, a positive thought, an affirmation, or my favourite saying ‘no, we are not doing that again’. Or you can use your favourite saying or a constructive thought that resonates with you. As long it motivates you to find better ways to move forward rather than listening to the inner critical voice.
  2. Choose healthier habits – motivate yourself with thoughts and actions that will build your self-esteem and you are less likely to listen to the inner critic. You can do this by reminding yourself of the positive benefits using written or recorded motivational quotes or words that you keep somewhere easily accessible for daily reading. Think about what you would really like to do and refocus your energies on your needs and what’s important to you.
  3. Take a 2-minute gratitude break – a simple habit of following is to take a break for a couple of minutes every day to appreciate what you do. Do this exercise by writing down three things you do that you feel good about and appreciate about yourself, such as “I can make people laugh when they are stressed or I can be thoughtful when someone needs my help” etc. It may be for only two minutes but it’s a powerful way to turn off your negative thoughts, boost your self-esteem and fill you with positive energy.
  4. Do the things that will raise your self-esteem – exercise and eat healthy meals will make you feel good about yourself. Keeping that focus is not easy but can make a difference how you think and feel about yourself and get the results you want.
  5. Being perfect is not important – replace the thoughts that are destructive especially about being perfect. To overcome the perfectionist habits – go for the words ‘that is good enough for me’. Buying into the perfect myth in life can hurt your motivation and harm your job, family life and ability to achieve.
  6. Be aware that people make mistakes and look at them positively – fear of failure can stop us from trying to achieve our goals resulting in never fulfilling our potential. If you do struggle – try to relax and stay calm, don’t beat yourself up, find another way to be constructive and achieve your goals.
  7. Be kind towards people – it doesn’t take a lot to be kind and you will be treated like you treat others. Listen when someone has something to say about their problems. Encourage your family or friends to try new things and motivate them. Help someone in a practical manner.
  8. Stop comparing yourself to other people – everyone is different and if you focus on comparing yourself to other people you will have this self-destructive habit that goes nowhere. There are always people who do better than you, so focus on the goals you wish to achieve, not on what other people are doing.
  9. Spend time with motivational people – find someone you admire and emulate them. Also, avoid negative people that drag you down. Being kinder to yourself and to the people that motivate you, will replace the trying to ‘be perfect’ habit, will help you move forward and will give you a fresh perception of the way you want your life to be.
  10. Remember why is it important to build your self-esteem – to keep you motivated and build unstoppable self-confidence. Remembering the reasons why you want to build your self-esteem and making it your priority, this will help you achieve your goals in life.

If lack of self-esteem is preventing you from being successful in your business or personal life, there is help available. Don’t let anxiety and low self-confidence hold you back in your social life and career anymore. Therapies such as Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) can help you tackle low self-esteem, negative thoughts and self-destructive habits. Find out more by calling me for an informal chat about your needs. 07967151790 or [email protected]

Self-confidence issues, confidence issues, feeling down

The Biggest Barrier To Success Is Self-Limiting Belief

Self-confidence issues, confidence issues, feeling down

What you believe in reflects what you experience in your life. How strong your self-belief is measured in terms of your success.

Many people do not have a clear idea about what is that they want, and what it is that they don’t want. Often we have made our goals a long time ago and never looked at them again or re-evaluated them. If you want to succeed it is time you set SMART (Simple Measurable Achievable Realistic Timely) goals and make them visible so they can be fresh and present in your mind and not hide in a drawer somewhere.

In this post, I will share some ways to overcome self-limiting beliefs that may be affecting your career or ability to make a success of your business.

How To Achieve Your Goals 

‘Building a successful business is not embracing someone else’s philosophy, but staying true to your own beliefs about the world and learning from the mistakes you make along the way.’ – Ben Parr

  • Being curious and learning as much as possible about how you can achieve your goal can be your first step in your journey. Start with researching online courses, reading books and listening to people who are successful – this will give you a benchmark about what you need to do to achieve your goals. Finding someone you respect and admire to mentor you is an excellent way to get the knowledge you desire, as well as support from someone who has ‘been there’. Don’t be afraid to approach someone about whether they would be prepared to help. Many successful business leaders want to contribute and help others succeed.

‘My beliefs will run through everything I do. My beliefs, and my values are my anchor when people try to drag me down, as I know they will, it is to that sense of right and wrong, that sense of whom I am and what I believe, to which I will always hold.’ – Ed Miliband

  • Use the different ideas you have learnt to create something unique and tailored to what you want to achieve is another step in your journey. Take risks, be brave and dare to be different. Concentrate on your end result and list all the things you need to do get the outcome you want. Try not to be distracted by what others are doing. When you try to be competitive you will focus on other people, so just try to succeed at your own pace but with determination. Believe in your mind that you can do it and you will use all your energy and commitment to achieve success.

‘People have a lot of different beliefs, and at the end of the day, we all have deeply held beliefs that probably don’t make sense to anyone.’ – Trey Parker

  • Think positively about your goals, and do not look at obstacles before you even start. Being positive and believing in your ability to achieve your goals will get you where you need to be. If you tend to be influenced by negative people then you will find it difficult to succeed. Fuel your desire for success with strong positive affirmations, don’t be afraid to fail as you will learn from your mistakes, face difficult challenges and view yourself without the self-limiting beliefs and negativity. Make a commitment to yourself to work hard and let nothing stand in your way to achieving the success you want.

Every business owner has to overcome their self-limiting beliefs before they grow and succeed in business. You might have buried these limiting beliefs or your fear of failure has stopped you from taking risks, but they will stop you from achieving your full potential.

The key to your success is growing, learning and development of a mindset that takes action and conquers doubt.

Here’s how to deal with five common self-limiting beliefs:

  1. Not feeling confident about what you say – it’s very common for business owners to question whether what they say about their business is good enough. The feedback that you receive from your prospective clients will tell if your content is good. Are emails that you have sent out being opened, have people been engaging on your social media posts, are people commenting on your blogs and visiting your website? Are you making sales? If you want to succeed don’t second-guess yourself and think that your efforts aren’t good enough. Look for evidence from other people about whether you’re getting it right. Don’t let this become a belief that is self-limiting to your success.
  2. Pricing your services correctly – people find money a difficult topic especially when you ask for payment. If you charge a fair price, your clients will value your services and you will give them your best. As you are offering to help your clients with their biggest struggles, base your charges on the value you provide.
  3. Competition – even if there are a lot of people providing the same service, you are unique and embrace that. Most people try to follow influencers in their field and mimic them, blend in and they don’t try to be different due to their self-limiting beliefs. Believe in yourself and infuse that in your business and you will be successful.
  4. Lack of confidence in your credentials – as a business entrepreneur your knowledge and confidence come from years of learning your subject and experience. While in some fields qualifications are essential, in others experience and natural ability are more important. Focus on building your credentials by delivering an excellent service to the clients you are helping.
  5. Not enough money and resources – most businesses require a financial contribution to get them off the ground, and without investment, it may hold them back. Don’t let money become a self-limiting belief that prevents you from growing your business. There are a lot of free resources out there, so learn and build your business step-by-step.

Changing your negative mindset that tells you that ‘you can’t do it’ or that you’re not good enough’ is vital if you want to succeed in business. Acknowledging that you have these thoughts is the first step; the next is to overcome them with more positive thoughts and beliefs. If you are struggling to overcome your limiting self-beliefs, you may find that cognitive behaviour therapy can help, providing you with the opportunity, to be frank with yourself, rationalise these thoughts, and change your attitudes and entrenched views.

From a business perspective getting help with this early could enable you to fast track your business success and achieve your goals sooner.

If you would like to chat about any of the issues explored in this post and find out more about my services and how I’ve to help business owners overcome their self-limiting beliefs, please get in touch. Call 0796 715 1790 or email [email protected]