Tag Archives for " self-belief "

How To Take Control Of Your Relationships

Relationship advice in surrey, Surrey hypnotherapy

Having self-belief, confidence and healthy self-esteem will help you take control of your relationships. By focusing on the value you place on yourself – which is your self-belief – you will boost your self-confidence in your relationships with other people and build strong bonds with them.

The Importance Of Self-Esteem And Self-Belief

Your self-esteem is how to feel about yourself, your ‘positive regard’ and how much self-love you have. Your self-belief is influenced by how you think, feel and act. In other words, it comes from a sense of your beliefs about your identity and your stance in your world regardless of the expectations that you yourself or society puts on you.

Sometimes a woman’s self-esteem can be fragile. Women often compare themselves to other people and sometimes will change their behaviour to fit in accordingly. We live in a changeable world and many women feel they have to work really hard to fit into male-dominated environments. They feel they have to work hard to measure up.

Personal Relationships

A woman’s relationship with her partner can also be a vicious cycle, she may feel that she needs to conform her partner’s needs but this can lower her self-esteem and self-confidence. This also can weaken the bond she is trying to build with the partner. Instead of remaining true to her values and beliefs, she may focus on making her partner happy instead. And this distances her away from her own self-worth, self-belief and integrity, which lowers her self-confidence even more.

Here are a few questions you can ask yourself about your confidence in your relationship:

  1. What can I do to be my true self in my relationship without upsetting the apple cart?
  2. How can I do this without compromise and affecting my self-confidence?
  3. How does this low self-confidence and self-belief in myself affecting my relationship?

If you know that your self-belief, lack of confidence and self-esteem is damaging your relationships with other people, there is support available. Hypnosis is a powerful tool to address negative thoughts and behaviours and find the self-belief and confidence you need to take control of your relationships.

Contact me for a free consultation if you would like to discuss this in more detail.

The key to an honest and balanced relationship is for both remaining true to their own self-belief and integrity to build a strong and secure bond.

  1. Choose not to lose your self-belief and integrity. Take each day as it comes and takes baby steps to build your confidence and self-esteem.
  2. Gratitude can help build confidence. If you feel low and depressed your confidence will weaken as you don’t feel valuable to your relationship or society. Your worthiness is knowing who you are and believing it and plays an important role in our relationships. When you are grateful for what you have, your self-confidence builds as you feel your value and self-worth. In relationships, our self-worth plays a defining role and can be a key factor in the success or failure of the relationship. We feel confident and happy when we are in a balanced relationship and feel depressed or worthless when your relationship is not good.
  3. Avoid negative self-talk. Sometimes the negative voice in our heads can override the positive messages. They can come from past experiences – from being unable to meet expectations of parents, or previous relationships. Negative social pressure, illness or some trauma can also result in low self-esteem. Challenging the negative voice and listing to affirmations or messages that can influence you to believe in yourself. Your thoughts, feeling and beliefs can be replaced by positive messages.
  4. Projecting confidence even when you feel unconfident in situations. Sometimes it good to put on a brave face and face the challenges in front of you, you can then be strong for the next situation. Have the patience, face the fear and be kind to yourself, and then you can face the challenge you are scared of. By allowing yourself to be uncomfortable and not letting negative thoughts overtake you, you can boost your confidence.

Key areas you can change to boost your self-confidence:

  1. By identifying and understanding what areas of your life you are unhappy with and commit to change that.
  2. Positive thoughts and affirmations to build your feelings of self-worth.
  3. Read at least 20-30 minutes of articles or books to improve our mind. avoid the tendency to compare yourself to others as this will only develop into negative thoughts.
  4. Trust your instincts believe that you are a confident person
  5. A supportive environment with family and friends listening to issues you struggle with will keep you motivated.

Self-confidence is an amazing quality to have that this can help create and build a wonderful, passionate, equal and loving relationship.

Working with people to help them build lost self-confidence or boost their low self-esteem is a passion of mine so please contact me if you would like some help.

Never let obstacles get in the way of loving relationships and enjoying your incredible life.

How To Stick With Your New Year Resolutions In 2017

Hypnotherapy in Surrey, New years ideas, self-confidence, confidence coaching

Did you make any New Year Resolutions this year? Lose weight, stop smoking, get a promotion or start your own business? Whatever your NY resolution is, you may now be feeling the pressure to start or stick with it…

You have tidied the house and all the Xmas decorations have been put away, but its end of January and you have not started using the gym membership or working through the things on your list. With February and March looming, you may feel like you’re struggling to keep up with the resolutions list, and it feels scary how far behind you are.

So did you make the right NY Resolution? If you made a life-changing resolution, a big plan to change direction or do something huge, it may be that the reason you’re now starting to panic is that you’ve taken too much on.

Setting small achievable goals, instead of a big goal that will overwhelm and frustrate you, can help you succeed in your personal life and business life. You also need to ensure that you have addressed those issues that could result in failure. For example, if you’ve tried to lose weight before, what went wrong and how can you improve your chances of success this time?

Often it comes down to confidence and self-belief. If these are already low it can be an uphill struggle to stick with and achieve your resolutions. Low self-confidence can sabotage your chances of success.

If this is an issue for you, consider addressing this first – hypnotherapy for confidence can help – and then with a boost to your self-belief you’ll be in much better shape to achieve those NY resolutions.

Tips For Sticking To Your New Year Resolutions

By taking small actionable steps and prioritising what is important to you, you will be more likely to stick with and succeed in your resolutions.

Here are some key points to remember to help you stick with your New Year resolutions:

  1. Setting out SMART goals Specific, Measurable Achievable Realistic and Timely goals, in the beginning, will set you up to understand what you are trying to achieve this year.
  2. If your goal is to getting on top of your finances, concentrate your motivation and energy on the most important aspect of the debt you have accumulated. In this manner, you will pay off a little of the money you owe at a time and have a strong sense of progress. This will motivate you to continue to keep playing and looking after your finances in a positive manner.
  3. Use whatever resources you have to help, for example – put your gym clothes ready when you wake up so you can immediately get some exercise before you start to make excuses about your exercise regime. Stay away from risky situations if you want to get fit and healthy don’t go to McDonald’s or go near fast foods or junk food. Put reminders in places where you are triggered to follow your healthy choices or behaviours like notes on the fridge, or on the bathroom mirror.
  4. Get organised! Don’t allow other tasks to stop you from achieving your goals – where possible automate them so they don’t distract you. Set out reminders to tasks that you have to do every few weeks time and look to see how you can prioritise some of them. Set out the actions you are going to take to achieve your next goal to keep going.
  5. Be flexible. If you have an all or nothing approach and fail at one of your steps it’s likely you will become disillusioned and not succeed in your overall goal. Instead, give yourself a break if you don’t meet every target, be flexible and realign your steps so you can move forward.
  6. Set yourself a reasonable time limit and if you are unable to keep up with it revisit your goal list and make changes so you can achieve the goals in small chunks.
  7. Don’t give up and keep trying. Create a balanced approach with baby steps that you can act on. Keep yourself motivated by being mindful of what you want and knowing the results you expect that will help you keep going.
  8. Get the support you need, having someone to talk to you will get a different point of view of how you are going to succeed with your goals. This will also help make you accountable and you might get different ideas in order to get results or solutions you desire. Asking and accepting help will strengthen your resolve and manage your anxiety and stress. Also seeking help from a coach or a mentor can help change unhealthy habits and behaviours and address issues you have suffered from in the past, procrastination or emotional issues.

Old habits and behaviours can be hard to change but they are often the key to successfully achieving your goals and resolutions. Once you understand why you respond to certain challenges or pressures in a particular way, it becomes easier to change your habits and behaviours.

Sometimes it can be as simple as changing the way you approach your resolution. Instead of saying, ‘I want to lose weight’ a resolution of ‘I’m going to eat more healthily’ can increase your chances of successfully losing the weight and keeping it off long-term.

Cognitive behaviour therapy with hypnosis is a highly effective way of identifying habits and behaviours that are sabotaging your chances of success, and then replace them with better responses that increase your motivation and drive.

If you’re struggling with your New Year Resolutions and would like to talk through ways of getting back on the programme, I offer a free 30-minute phone consultation for people in West Surrey / Hampshire. Book your appointment here.

The Biggest Barrier To Success Is Self-Limiting Belief

Self-confidence issues, confidence issues, feeling down

What you believe in reflects what you experience in your life. How strong your self-belief is measured in terms of your success.

Many people do not have a clear idea about what is that they want, and what it is that they don’t want. Often we have made our goals a long time ago and never looked at them again or re-evaluated them. If you want to succeed it is time you set SMART (Simple Measurable Achievable Realistic Timely) goals and make them visible so they can be fresh and present in your mind and not hide in a drawer somewhere.

In this post, I will share some ways to overcome self-limiting beliefs that may be affecting your career or ability to make a success of your business.

How To Achieve Your Goals 

‘Building a successful business is not embracing someone else’s philosophy, but staying true to your own beliefs about the world and learning from the mistakes you make along the way.’ – Ben Parr

  • Being curious and learning as much as possible about how you can achieve your goal can be your first step in your journey. Start with researching online courses, reading books and listening to people who are successful – this will give you a benchmark about what you need to do to achieve your goals. Finding someone you respect and admire to mentor you is an excellent way to get the knowledge you desire, as well as support from someone who has ‘been there’. Don’t be afraid to approach someone about whether they would be prepared to help. Many successful business leaders want to contribute and help others succeed.

‘My beliefs will run through everything I do. My beliefs, and my values are my anchor when people try to drag me down, as I know they will, it is to that sense of right and wrong, that sense of whom I am and what I believe, to which I will always hold.’ – Ed Miliband

  • Use the different ideas you have learnt to create something unique and tailored to what you want to achieve is another step in your journey. Take risks, be brave and dare to be different. Concentrate on your end result and list all the things you need to do get the outcome you want. Try not to be distracted by what others are doing. When you try to be competitive you will focus on other people, so just try to succeed at your own pace but with determination. Believe in your mind that you can do it and you will use all your energy and commitment to achieve success.

‘People have a lot of different beliefs, and at the end of the day, we all have deeply held beliefs that probably don’t make sense to anyone.’ – Trey Parker

  • Think positively about your goals, and do not look at obstacles before you even start. Being positive and believing in your ability to achieve your goals will get you where you need to be. If you tend to be influenced by negative people then you will find it difficult to succeed. Fuel your desire for success with strong positive affirmations, don’t be afraid to fail as you will learn from your mistakes, face difficult challenges and view yourself without the self-limiting beliefs and negativity. Make a commitment to yourself to work hard and let nothing stand in your way to achieving the success you want.

Every business owner has to overcome their self-limiting beliefs before they grow and succeed in business. You might have buried these limiting beliefs or your fear of failure has stopped you from taking risks, but they will stop you from achieving your full potential.

The key to your success is growing, learning and development of a mindset that takes action and conquers doubt.

Here’s how to deal with five common self-limiting beliefs:

  1. Not feeling confident about what you say – it’s very common for business owners to question whether what they say about their business is good enough. The feedback that you receive from your prospective clients will tell if your content is good. Are emails that you have sent out being opened, have people been engaging on your social media posts, are people commenting on your blogs and visiting your website? Are you making sales? If you want to succeed don’t second-guess yourself and think that your efforts aren’t good enough. Look for evidence from other people about whether you’re getting it right. Don’t let this become a belief that is self-limiting to your success.
  2. Pricing your services correctly – people find money a difficult topic especially when you ask for payment. If you charge a fair price, your clients will value your services and you will give them your best. As you are offering to help your clients with their biggest struggles, base your charges on the value you provide.
  3. Competition – even if there are a lot of people providing the same service, you are unique and embrace that. Most people try to follow influencers in their field and mimic them, blend in and they don’t try to be different due to their self-limiting beliefs. Believe in yourself and infuse that in your business and you will be successful.
  4. Lack of confidence in your credentials – as a business entrepreneur your knowledge and confidence come from years of learning your subject and experience. While in some fields qualifications are essential, in others experience and natural ability are more important. Focus on building your credentials by delivering an excellent service to the clients you are helping.
  5. Not enough money and resources – most businesses require a financial contribution to get them off the ground, and without investment, it may hold them back. Don’t let money become a self-limiting belief that prevents you from growing your business. There are a lot of free resources out there, so learn and build your business step-by-step.

Changing your negative mindset that tells you that ‘you can’t do it’ or that you’re not good enough’ is vital if you want to succeed in business. Acknowledging that you have these thoughts is the first step; the next is to overcome them with more positive thoughts and beliefs. If you are struggling to overcome your limiting self-beliefs, you may find that cognitive behaviour therapy can help, providing you with the opportunity, to be frank with yourself, rationalise these thoughts, and change your attitudes and entrenched views.

From a business perspective getting help with this early could enable you to fast track your business success and achieve your goals sooner.

If you would like to chat about any of the issues explored in this post and find out more about my services and how I’ve to help business owners overcome their self-limiting beliefs, please get in touch. Call 0796 715 1790 or email [email protected]

What To Do If Your Confidence Takes A Nosedive

hypnosis for anxiety, anxiety hypnotherapy, stress and anxious

We all know of confident people who walk tall, speak with self-assurance and never seem fazed by work, family or anything else. By comparison they might make use feel anxious, overly apologetic, and full of self-doubts and negative thoughts. However, don’t be fooled by first impressions, many people have moments where things don’t look so great – it’s just that some of us are better at putting on a brave face than others.

How To Get Your Confidence Back

When your confidence does take a nosedive due to circumstances, such as relationship problems, issues at work or family worries, try to think of it as temporary setback and address the issue before it gets worse. Self-confidence is something that we can learn, helping us to cope with stress and anxiety, feel good and have a more positive attitude. Not only that it can rub off on other people, so if your family members or friends are going through a rough period, your self-confidence and ability to face issues head on can inspire them too.

Self-Efficacy

Self-efficacy is the strength of your self-belief in your ability to achieve your goals. Albert Bandura, a prominent psychologist created the ‘Self-efficacy model’, suggesting that self-confidence comes from self-efficacy. This model suggests that self-efficacy influences the way a person thinks, feels, acts and, therefore, makes decisions. A person can work to develop the task oriented skills and motivation to succeed at their own level of self-efficacy. For example, if you were an athlete and have had a setback where you have been injured and stuck at home for a while, you might have felt depressed, your self-confidence dipped and feel sorry for yourself, you can raise your self-efficacy and self-confidence level by looking at your past achievements and draw on those past accomplishments. By using mental imagery/ rehearsal techniques, vivid imagery of past performances and positive thoughts you can change your mindset and work towards positive goals.

Also you can identify and dispute your irrational thoughts or maladaptive thoughts, which are called cognitive distortions through a process called cognitive restructuring. 

Here is a PDF document to help you create a goal setting system, which is one of the most important skills you need to become and remain self-confident: Create a Goal Setting System

Tips to build your self-confidence:

Here are some techniques you can try at home to help build your self-confidence, helping you cope with life’s challenges:

  1. Look at your past achievements and feel proud of the things you have done and achieved in the past.
  2. Notice where your past self-belief and resilience came from and trust in yourself to be self-confident again.
  3. Identify your weaknesses and work on strengthening them.
  4. Create a goal setting system and expect to be successful.
  5. Visualise positive thoughts and rationalise negative patterns of thinking.
  6. Lean on a close friend for support.
  7. Have a strong mental imagery of success in your mind.
  8. Clear all mental blocks and increase your motivation to succeed.
  9. Deep breathing and relaxation exercises.
  10. Self talk such as affirmations and positive words to keep your momentum going.
  11. Look at the way you think of yourself and change it around due to something that is bothering you and making you feel low and not confident.

Face your fears, put everything about your life into context and don’t let failure take over your life and build your interests and skills. You can look forward to a bright exciting future with confidence.

If you have any questions about self-efficacy and how to build your self-confidence, please get in touch. Leave a comment below or call / email me directly: 0796 7151790 / [email protected]


 

“A first timer at Hypnotherapy, I chose Andrea because she was well qualified and uniquely, has nursing experience. What I didn’t know was how caring and reassuring she was! I immediately felt I had come to the right person. I suffered from extreme anxiety, low self-confidence, and low self-esteem and also doubted my ability is making decisions. With her professional help, I have worked through unresolved issues and my self-confidence improved drastically. More importantly, I have learnt a lot about myself, have self-worth and also worked on how to deal with various problems/issues life throws at me. Clinical Hypnotherapy was a wonderful and insightful experience” Paula.