Having self-belief, confidence and healthy self-esteem will help you take control of your relationships. By focusing on the value you place on yourself – which is your self-belief – you will boost your self-confidence in your relationships with other people and build strong bonds with them.
Your self-esteem is how to feel about yourself, your ‘positive regard’ and how much self-love you have. Your self-belief is influenced by how you think, feel and act. In other words, it comes from a sense of your beliefs about your identity and your stance in your world regardless of the expectations that you yourself or society puts on you.
Sometimes a woman’s self-esteem can be fragile. Women often compare themselves to other people and sometimes will change their behaviour to fit in accordingly. We live in a changeable world and many women feel they have to work really hard to fit into male-dominated environments. They feel they have to work hard to measure up.
A woman’s relationship with her partner can also be a vicious cycle, she may feel that she needs to conform her partner’s needs but this can lower her self-esteem and self-confidence. This also can weaken the bond she is trying to build with the partner. Instead of remaining true to her values and beliefs, she may focus on making her partner happy instead. And this distances her away from her own self-worth, self-belief and integrity, which lowers her self-confidence even more.
Here are a few questions you can ask yourself about your confidence in your relationship:
If you know that your self-belief, lack of confidence and self-esteem is damaging your relationships with other people, there is support available. Hypnosis is a powerful tool to address negative thoughts and behaviours and find the self-belief and confidence you need to take control of your relationships.
Contact me for a free consultation if you would like to discuss this in more detail.
The key to an honest and balanced relationship is for both remaining true to their own self-belief and integrity to build a strong and secure bond.
Key areas you can change to boost your self-confidence:
Self-confidence is an amazing quality to have that this can help create and build a wonderful, passionate, equal and loving relationship.
Working with people to help them build lost self-confidence or boost their low self-esteem is a passion of mine so please contact me if you would like some help.
Never let obstacles get in the way of loving relationships and enjoying your incredible life.
Christmas can be a stressful time of year for many people. It can put a strain on relationships, bring old grudges and problems to the fore, and also be a very sad and lonely time for some people.
With the expectation that you should be enjoying yourself with friends and family, the expense of gifts and nights out, and the huge amount of work it takes to create a wonderful Christmas for your nearest and dearest, it’s no wonder that many people feel overwhelmed.
For those people who are far from home, lost a loved one, or perhaps have separated in the past year, Christmas can trigger anxiety, stress and feelings of loneliness.
This is perfectly normal and understandable. If Christmas is making you feel depressed or stressed, this is not because you are a modern day Scrooge.
Due to the commercialism of Christmas, we’re all under a huge amount of pressure to make everything perfect. The Christmas card perfect family, a stack of presents under the tree, your home looking like a cover shoot for an interiors magazine, a table laden with home cooked Christmas food.
If we can’t meet these expectations it’s no wonder that many people feel depressed and stressed. And some people go into the process of self-reflection and thought about the shortages in life and compare themselves to other people. This brings added pressure and they spend a lot more than they should on presents etc. that they don’t have. This can spiral out of control and get them into debt.
Some people deal with loneliness at Christmas due to loss of a loved one, while some deal with family conflicts, as it is the one time that everyone gets together. It may also be your ‘first’ Christmas after a life-changing event – for example, divorce, the loss of a job, or illness.
These factors can all come to a head over the Christmas period. Below are some of the steps that you can take to manage your stress and your finances:
Some families struggle with getting on with one another and there is a lot of power play in the mix. Also, divorce among some of the family members means that unresolved conflicts can trigger stress and anxiety.
If you feel isolated if you have been recently divorced or a recent break-up, or have lost a loved one it can be really tough when everyone else appears to be having a good time. Here are some tips to cope:
Cognitive behaviour therapy helps to recognise behaviours that will contribute to anxiety and stress during the Xmas period. If you are already feeling panicky about Christmas and think that it’s going to be hard, you could get help now.
CBT can help you to think positively, recognise the triggers that can lead to stress and feelings of depression, and act before they overwhelm you.
If you are worried about how you will cope emotionally over Christmas, please do get in touch to explore whether CBT and hypnotherapy can help. Call 0796 715 1790 or email [email protected]
Relationships between two people don’t exist in isolation. Past experiences, personal history and expectations all influence a relationship, and often the way we communicate in our relationships is as a result of our past.
If you’re one of the many people who feel that you and your partner do not communicate properly, this post is for you. Here I explore how to open the lines of communication, especially if the relationship is suffering, and help build a stronger union.
Many people find that they are not confident about talking about difficult issues and emotions, even with their partner. They find themselves either getting upset or angry and struggling to really explain how they feel or what’s bothering them. This can be particularly difficult if their partner is not a great communicator either, or if they are super confident and prone to dominate a conversation.
You can get help with confidence issues and this can have a really positive impact on your relationships, helping you communicate better and build deeper relationships. Hypnotherapy for confidence can help, you can find out more about this treatment here.
Communication with your partner is not only talking about everyday topics like ‘how was your day’ or ‘did you have a good day at work?’ It’s about really making the time and effort to listen, be interested, and talk to each other in an open manner.
Couples who have good communication when things are going well will also find it much easier to communicate with each when things are not so good. This provides you with a great foundation for dealing with life’s ups and downs and making your relationship work through thick and thin.
The ways in which you communicate with your partner can make or break a relationship. Below are some tips for communicating when things are difficult. Following these can help you deal with emotions, resentments and relationship issues, and improve your relationship with your partner:
Most couples go through a period where there is anger in the relationship, it is, therefore, important to learn to resolve any conflict that arises in a healthy manner.
The most important part of communicating well with your partner is not letting a discussion turn into an angry argument. Treating each other with respect and keeping the discussion focused on one topic only, and making the time to have that difficult conversation. Sometimes we resort to cheap shots that can get the argument only more heated so by being respectful and stop, think, talk and listen you will then open the lines of communication with your partner in a healthy way.
If you think that hypnotherapy for confidence could help you become a better communicator, or would just like to discuss how it can help, please get in touch. Email [email protected] for a confidential chat about your feelings and the challenges you face.
Stress caused by issues at work, worries about money, concerns about family members or health problems, can have a big impact on relationships. It can create a disconnection between a couple leading to communication issues; all at a time when a partner needs more support, not less, from their other half.
All of this can be prevented if you are aware of the subtle changes when your partner is stressed. Being vigilant about each other’s mental health as well as physical health is important, but often it can be difficult to address because symptoms of stress are misdiagnosed, or hidden by the person suffering.
Being proactive about supporting your partner when they get stressed can bring you closer to each other and develop a new level of intimacy.
What help can you provide to support your partner if they are suffering from stress?
If you’re in a heterosexual relationship it is important to understand that your partner’s response to stress will be different to yours. Women and men have distinct reactions when they are stressed.
When a person is stressed the body releases hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol, which bind together. This causes raised blood pressure and higher levels of blood sugar. Then there is a release of oxytocin from the brain opposing the release of adrenalin and cortisol by relaxing the persons’ body.
When men get stressed less oxytocin is released than in women and therefore they react to adrenaline and cortisol more strongly. This results in a ‘flight or fight response’ that may cause them to be angry, or to repress their feelings and become withdrawn. Typically men care more about competing and their performance in the tasks they are involved in. They like being appreciated, are open to new ideas, like to push themselves to the limit and will accept assistance if they need to.
Women on the other hand, because of higher oxytocin levels, handle stress by nurturing their loved ones; this creates a desire to protect their family, particularly young children. Women’s feelings of competency in relationships are closely linked to their self-esteem and individuality. They like to feel wanted, cared for and like their partner to appreciate them and voice these expressions openly so that they feel good.
So how do you deal with stress that your partner is experiencing?
Every day as a part of daily life we deal with stress. When you are in a relationship, even if both you and your partner are connecting effectively, there will be some situations when one or the other is continuing to work but has no energy left. The love and support are all you both need to keep going. Keep your positive frame of mind even if you find it difficult and produce resources mentally and emotionally to assist your partner.
This will generate a healthy foundation and solid base for your relationship and build on the good feeling and connection between both of you. Create stress reducing habits and set up a system that both of you have to check in if there is anything you need support with. Do an activity together like a new gym class or Pilates to renew your relationship.
As the person closest to them, you’re also the person who might suggest that they need help from an outside source. This could be something you do together, such as taking a course in meditation and deep breathing, or you might want your partner to see a therapist to get one-on-one support.
It can be difficult to broach the subject of ‘needing help’, but it’s a conversation that you must have if you feel your partner is not able to manage their stress. Research suitable options that your partner is most likely to be receptive to, like cognitive behaviour therapy, and explain why you think they should seek help. Remember to be supportive, loving and share your concerns for their health. Sometimes a ‘do it for me’ approach will allow those people who are trying to hide stress or keep a stiff upper lip, open up and accept help.
Finally, remember to get support for yourself too. It can be very hard living with someone who is suffering from stress or depression, especially when you need to be the ‘strong one’. It may help to talk to trusted friends or just to get some time to yourself by going to the gym or other activities. It may also help to talk to a therapist who can help you look after your mental health, and support your partner at the same time.
If you would like to discuss any of the above with me please get in touch. Contact me on +44 (0)796 715 1790 or email [email protected]