“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who matter don’t mind and those that mind, don’t matter.” Dr Seuss
How you think and feel about yourself? Having self-love, self-belief and self-esteem are some of the most important things you can do for yourself. They may sound selfish or narcissistic, but actually having this self-confidence will help you be a better person, help others and make the world a better place to be.
Being able to build and maintain one’s self-esteem is important:
- Many of us feel insecure because we compare ourselves to other people. When things don’t work out for us and they do for others we feel inadequate. When we start caring and loving ourselves for who we are, we don’t get so hung up on setbacks. Or worry about meeting other people’s expectations.
- When we have higher self-esteem and confidence we don’t need other people’s validation or attention as much. We feel more relaxed and in control of our emotions and worry less about what other people say.
- When we love ourselves more and have better self-esteem, we’re less likely to think negatively or self-sabotage. This creates more positivity and we become more motivated to try to achieve our goals.
When you work toward building your self-confidence you will be able to stay calm and handle the difficult times better.
In their lives, many people experience issues with self-esteem and self-confidence. Sometimes this may be for a short period, for others it can be a long-term problem. Whatever your background, it is never too late to work on these issues. There has been a stage in my own life when things have been difficult, but I worked on any self-worth issues I have had from my past and keep myself calm every day. My life has now become simpler and building my self-esteem means that I am happier now.
Using my own personal experience and my years spent working as a clinical hypnotherapist cognitive behaviour therapist, I have developed a programme to help other people with self-confidence issues. Find out more about hypnotherapy for self-confidence here.
Here are 5 things you can do to boost yourself like I did:
- Learn how to quieten the inner critic and build your confidence. When you have the self-destructive thoughts like ‘you are not good at your job’ or ‘you are very lazy and not intelligent enough to do this’. Or ‘you are not pretty like your sister or friend’, you change how you think and work on being more positive. Stop the critical voice or inner critic voice in your head and get a STOP phrase that works for you. This will help you to find a better way to motivate yourself and move forward.
- Learn healthy positive and motivational habits. These will help you to improve your self-confidence and take action towards a goal that means a lot to you. A single most powerful method to inspire and motive you is to jot down in your diary things that will help you achieve that goal. For example: if you want to lose weight & get more energy to look after your family, do the things that will help you achieve that goal. Keep the dairy updated. Look at it every day to see how you can improve on the positive things and build on it. Refocus on the things you like to do. Also, push through the barriers so you put most of your efforts on important goals.
- Replace your perfectionist ideas. Are you afraid to take action? For example, making a call to a new business or an old colleague, if you are afraid to live up to a perfect standard you have set for yourself. If you procrastinate and let the negative thoughts take over you will let your self-esteem take a drop and have negative thoughts about your performance. Handle your failures and mistakes as they can be a learning experience in a positive manner: we truly learn through our mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself and have a plan ready in case you made a mistake or you might fall into a despairing mood.
- Try a new action so you can be challenged to try a small goal or a big goal. You will boost your self-confidence when you step outside your comfort zone. If you have a fear of failure, take small steps first. Remember not to compare yourself to other people because that can be self-destructive. Instead, focus on you and what you need to do to achieve your goal. Replace self-destructive thoughts with positive affirmations.
- Surround yourself with a supportive network of people. Friends and family can help, and you are keeping away from destructive or unsupportive people. Being with uplifting or positive people will feel good. And you will think and feel positive thoughts. Remember the reason why you are doing this to boost your confidence, build self-esteem. Make yourself a priority.
“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending”. Maria Robinson
These 5 things that you can do to boost self-confidence have done a wonderful job on my own self-esteem. If you need any help or support contact me on [email protected] or call me on 07967151790.
More on how hypnosis can be used to help people with self-esteem and self-confidence issues can be found here.